Ah, Florida, you amaze me

A friend of mine told me about this a while ago, and not really thinking that it existed, I googled it one day. And OH MY it sure does exist and it looks like it has for a while. It's called "The Holy Land Experience," and it's in Orlando. Some of you who are from Florida or the Orlando area or are evangelicals, etc, may have already heard of this place, but being the newbie to South Florida that I am, I continually am amazed at all the wonderful and wacky things this state has to offer. You can visit the Jerusalem Street Market and back by popular demand, "the Last Adam has been extended," (not quite sure what that means but I'm guessing it's live theater? I hope?). I don't know if there are themepark-styled rides, but if I ran the place that would be at the top of my agenda! Keep in mind that I am not promoting this place (I don't think it would be my cup of tea) but it definitely would make a bizarre road trip some day.

Only in Miami moment

So I was driving up US1 this afternoon, on my way to the gym and I had one of those, "only in Miami" moments.

Now normally when you are on the road in South Florida, you have to be fairly defensive because you never know what you are going to have swerve into your lane, car, motorcycle, moped, pedestrians, Iguana-the-size-of-a-pony, whatever.
But in the five years I have been here, I have never seen parrots become an issue. And I'm not talking about the little green parrots, I'm referring to the HUGE yellow and blue parrots that people pay thousands of dollars for.

It was a pair of said yellow and blue parrots the size of my cats that almost dive-bombed my car before the swooped up at the last minute. freaky

Hoo-ray for Hollywood - Florida - not the other one

Yesterday, in an attempt to escape the craziness of Miami, I thought it would be a good idea to head north. I was going to trek further but instead thought - hey, I haven't been to Hollywood in like a year, so it's time to see what's going on there. I was mighty surprised in a good way to see that there are way more restaurants and bars and other establishments than I remember, and the beach front was all fixed up with the new Broadwalk and looked all purdy. Hollywood has a smalltown feel yet it has such a mix of ethnicities and randoms that you feel like you are in some small European town/yet know in the back of your mind that you're still in South Fla. I ate at this really good restaurant that was super cheap - I think it's called Chocolada or something - and they feature live music every night which is a plus in my book. And everyone who ran the joint was Eastern European (Romanian I believe). But I did know that they are not from South Fla.

Another thing that is really cool is that Hollywood's really fixed up their small downtown. Upon arrival, you go by the usual boarded up, empty store fronts that are more reminicent of a northern town, but once you enter their strip, it's really nice. Someone in Hollywood is paying attention and is incorporating small parks and gardens for the community, and there are lots of plantings and arty things around. I know they have their own version of the art walk like we have in Midtown, so I may try to go sometime.

My favorite additions are the "tree people" as I call them. These topiary wonders are neat - I didn't see them the first drive down the street, but saw them the second time around. They add some uniqueness to the strip, remind me of Edward Scissorhands, and could cause young children to have nightmares about tree people who might come to life and eat them (I have an overactive imagination). But I liked them in all their untree-like poses. Here are the pics:

The Ballerina:

The Waiter (I thought this was an appropriate tree person to have in South Fla. since there are SO MANY ;):

The sax (saxamaphone) player :

Kudos, Hollywood. Keep it up! I will be visiting again hopefully sometime soon!

Monday - A Good Day for the Beach

Here are some more gratuitous beach photos (I just can't get enough) from North Beach:

Miami Sunsets over the MacArthur

A rare site - no traffic on the MacArthur at 7 pm on a beautiful Friday night! And photography at 60 mph. Snazzy!

Skyline

Last week at work we had lunch out at Key Biscayne (it's a rough life sometimes)

While I was there I snapped a couple skyline shots (its much easier to take these when you are not in the car BTW)





I love that I caught a manatee sign in the photo too. Awesomeness.

Miami-Dade Transit - Anyone can drive!

This is one of the best stories lately to come out of Miami-Dade. James L. Harris, a metrobus aficionado, has been arrested TWICE for taking metrobuses and driving them around the greater Miami area. He not only drove to Florida City, but picked up passengers along Collins Avenue and I hear only charged 25 cents per passenger. What a deal! I say, good for Mr. Harris! He's not hurting anyone and really likes buses - and is willing to give a discount in these tough economic times. He's been involved in bus disputes and routes for years and he's only 18! Who knows what the future holds for him - but I think it's in transportation. I know this story has been mentioned elsewhere, but it's definitely a misadventure in my book and unique to Miami. A "Only in Florida" moment as I like to call them. Click here to read today's saga in the Herald of Mr. James L. Harris, "bus fanatic."

Scenes around the Gables

I love living in the gables. It's beautiful and there are so many neat little details you never notice unless you keep your eyes up.

For example, this wall is awesome:



And another flamingo! awesome!



This whole city loves giant, ridiculously painted birds....

Iguanas, part deux

so apparently everyone hates iguanas.

Only in Miami would this be on the front of the local newspaper's website.





They do get freaky big though. I spotted these guys over at the little house in Coral Gables, across from the golf course.

Miami Summer Nights

Ah, the balmy nights of summer in South Florida. Sometimes oppressive and you sweat like Hell, and sometimes you catch a break and are lucky to be near the water or up on a roof and get a breeze. It's nice to have one of these nights when you can walk outside, look at the sky and say, I'm happy to be in Miami.

Scenes from Downtown

Only in Miami would it be appropriate to design buildings in the shapes of tropical fruits.



But Gloria Estefan must have been craving Pineapple something crazy when she thought up the topper for Bongos.


In other news..... while I admire that the downtown area is being revitalized and has been cleaned up ALOT since I first moved here, five years ago, its still pretty disgusting to try to pay your meter when sewage is overflowing from the pipes. Major party foul, Downtown Miami. bleah

Arcades

You know, I get it. Sometimes you want to go to an arcade and not have some seven-year-old with those freaky roller-sneaker things kick your ass in Street Fighter. It's disheartening and it makes you feel old. Sometimes you probably just want to go and play with kids your own age and blow off some steam.



Yet somehow I don't get the feeling that this arcade is exactly meant for one to go play pac-man. And honestly, I don't even want to know what goes on in there...

Wynwood Art Walk

So my favorite DJ (yeah I know I am biased) and I were down in Wynwood this past weekend for the art walk, and after el hombre got the music set up at one of the galleries, we went strolling around to the other places and I snapped some photos along the way, cause, you know, that's how I roll....



This fence always has some sort of word or message in cups, and I have a fascination with the skull and crossbone theme. I think el capitan blogged a similar photo from a previous art walk.



typical street art (we all know my love for it by now)



Sculpture garden between two warehouse-turned-galleries


amazing. I love this. and it's new....

I love the art walks for a number of reasons. The first being that it shows a slight underbelly of intellectualism in Miami (even if it can be kind of pretentious at times.)
The second is the variety of art that you see. From mixed media to extreme modern to standard paintings, there is a mix, and the galleries tend to switch it up all the time.
The third is the people watching, from indie to ghetto to urban redneck, you see it all. And if someone can explain to me why young indie kids think mustaches are cool, I would greatly appreciate it. Cause I am still on the "mustaches are creepy and gross" bandwagon.

So, sometimes you see some really weird things...

I was going for a walk one evening in my neighborhood, and turned the corner and saw this. I was quite perplexed at the sight I saw. A HUGE purple and orange big rig was spurting out red Ferrari's out its backside and there were two flashy lookin' guys in suits and two (I'm not lying) mullet and moustachioed men standing around them - I think one of them was wearing something sleeveless, I'm pretty sure, but it could be my memory playing tricks on me. Then, one of the mustache-men got in one of the sporty cars and started driving up and down the street. Anyway, as I watched this go on, I neglected to see what the truck said and turned to look. On the side of the truck it said "STRAIGHTUP ENTERPRIZES" and to the right of that is the picture of a crucifix which says "He Never Let Go." I was amazed so I took a photo. But what does that mean, "He Never Let Go?" He never let go of hope or faith or he never let go because he was nailed to a cross and couldn't get down? I don't get it and still don't.

Then, it gets better, after I walked around for a bit I came back and they were starting to pull away, after the guys drove their Ferrari's around and loaded them back into the truck. It was starting to get dark so I noticed that there were red lights all over the bottom lining the truck. Red, orange and purple - what a fabulous color scheme (I'm kidding of course). Anyway, as the truck slowly droned down the street, I noticed the back - the bright orange door was all lit up - in the shape of a glowing red crucifix. I watched it pull away and watched it until the red cross disappeared on the horizon. It was really odd and I haven't seen them since. I was going to look them up to see what they are all about but haven't gotten around to it. Here's the only photo I was able to snap - I didn't want them to catch me in my amazement:

Out of the Office - will be back soon

I am temporarily out of the area but will be back soon! I have some old jems to share with you and will do so when I get back. It's nice being away from the hustle and bustle for a bit!

SoBe landmarks

I've been here a few times, usually after a late night at Crobar (now Cameo but I'm old school)

In my three years on the beach I was obsessed with this place, and for all the right reasons. It doesn't fit in with anything else on the beach, it's shiny, it looks like a trailer, it's on Washington Ave and it has a neon sign that says "dinners and cocktails." what's not to be obsessed with it? i mean, other than the fact that the scrambled eggs seemed suspiciously to be of the "powdered" variety. But at 3 a.m., who cares, right?

Scenes from the gas station

really?


seriously, I can't even think of anything snarky to say because the pic stands alone

When Pelicans Attack

More photos from my recent daytrip to Jupiter. There were a million minnows - as one fisherman said to me, "It's not a good day to be a minnow."

In the inlet it was like Thanksgiving dinner for the Pelicans. They didn't even have to get up and divebomb the water like they usually do. Attack!

How business is run in Miami Beach

Enough said. really.

I lived on the beach for years and this is the first time I have ever seen this sign. But one of my friends was at city hall when she heard a place was getting fined for this stuff.

Beachy Sundays

So I met one of my cohorts on Lincoln Road on Sunday for shopping, food and scoping the strangeness. Despite the occasional Monsoon-like weather it was relaxing, and I always love checking out the market, even if it's the off-season microversion.




We both admired the flowers that bloom on this tree. And also the air potatos (which are illegal to grow, plant and sell in Miami-Dade)

You find a mix of venders on Lincoln Road on Sunday:

Like people selling fruits and veggies. This particular vendor was not any better of a deal than the grocery. Boo to that, since I wanted to buy avocados.


But you can always find orchids!


The Chabad House has always had this booth, but it was abandoned because of the rain. It never fails to amaze me that Miami Beach is essentially a sin den, but there is a very strong, devout jewish population there. It's an interesting dichotomy.


My cohort made a new friend...


The rest of Miami has roosters, Miami Beach has flamingos. Go fig.

I Like Neon

I really like neon and Miami is a fantastic place to be a fan of the noble gas. Hell, even our bridges are lit up like the colors of the rainbow (see the Port of Miami bridge and the MacArthur Causeway - one day I'll get these too). Plus I also really like random signs. Here are some from the Wynwood area:

Thank you, Rick

Thanks again for the love! We won't disappoint!

Link Lovin'

So El Capitan and I were looking around the blogosphere and found The South Florida Daily Blog which I find fantastic because Rick reviews local news and blogs. And, you know, I am addicted to reading blogs. So go check him out, he gave us some review love, so go check him out.

In other news, I am sad that Critical Miami is going the way of the Caribou but I look forward to keeping my eye on new endeavors.

Anyway. Photos to come. Promise!

It's like Jurassic Park, but smaller

Look at this guy:

I went to Jupiter, Fla (I know - awesome name!) the other day. It's a super quiet, peaceful place - especially if you live in the crazy, loud, a million miles per second hectic home that is Miami-Dade - and is a nice place to escape to once in a while. Anyway, these guys are all over the place. They are the most adorable lizards I've ever seen with their little squat arms and legs and tails curled up almost to their heads. I haven't seen them down here. If anyone knows what it's called let me know. They were running all over the place. Adorable! If they were bigger and ate people, then we might have a problem.

We Want You!

Come! Become a fan of 305: Misadventures in the MIA on Facebook. It's easy:

Go to the page application and search for our delightful little blog, typing in the title just as you see it above and you'll find it. Then, become a fan! It's simple, takes seriously like 2 seconds, and unites you with other fabulous fans with similar interests in the wackyland that is the 305 (and 786 - we didn't forget you!).

We just created our page today and are super excited! Help us spread the word and keep checking back for more adventures and thoughtful ponders and mind wanderings of our sweet city that make up our daily lives.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sincerely,
The Management

I like to do it Tribal Style

So I have a little bit of an addictive personality, and one of my obsessions is exercise. But I hate going to the gym because the smallest thing throws me off my routine, so I am constantly on the lookout for things I can do that are fun and keep my attention. One of my favorite things is Shotokan Karate and another is bellydance, in particular tribal fusion.

So after a year's absence I went back to my tribal class today and I am feeling it! Anyone who thinks dancing is not a workout has never taken Alicia's class. That's for damn sure. But even though I will probably be aching tomorrow I feel a hundred times better. I've been super stressed with work, apartment situation and money, so going and getting a break from my karate routine was definitely a good kick.

I think with this I'm going to try to chronicle other Miami activities to keep you interested and in shape. But first, a nice relaxing lavender bath to relax my poor muscles some...

Stormy Days and Stormy Nights

A storm's a brewin! It was a little green - doesn't that mean tornado? Maybe it's an old wives tale or urban legend or whatever.

And this was the remnants of a spectacular light show over the Bay last night. Ah, the balmy, stormy season is here.

Necessities in Miami

Ok so if you want to survive a Miami summer, you need all of the following
-Umbrella
-A coat or sweater so when you go inside anywhere you can deal with the fact that everyone keeps the AC at arctic levels
-Rainboots (key if you are in Miami Beach, North Miami, parts of Brickell, Coconut Grove, Kendall and Key Biscayne)
-Any and all rain gear you can get your hands on.
-A sense of humor and/or Xanex to deal with people driving in the monsoon and thunder
-Bugspray
-No desire to wash your car. It's just going to rain.
-No desire to go to the beach. It's just going to rain. Or it's just waaaay to hot.
-Surge protectors. South Florida sees more lightning strikes than pretty much anywhere in the world. We are actually the lighting capitol of the world
-the knowledge of what to do if you fear getting struck by lightning

Pablo Escobar - Theme park? Maybe they'll have roller coasters!

So this doesn't really have to do with Miami but it does really have to do with Miami. If I ever happen to travel to Colombia, I may try to hit up the Hacienda Napoles. Wild hippos, Pablo Escobar as Pancho Villa and his hand designed Dinosaurs! It sounds like some crazy purgatory on the outskirts of Vegas.