This afternoon, El Hombre and I were driving to our favorite Argentine bakery for some empanadas, when it hit me. It's been almost seven years since I moved to Miami. It's strange because it seems like a long time ago, but at the same time, sometimes it seems like it was only two or three years ago.
From the moment I moved here, things were different. From having a homeless guy try to open my windows in my old apartment (subsequently, I moved out as fast as possible), being laid off a month and a half after moving here, getting my second degree black belt and getting a masters degree, I have gone through a lot. Miami is tough, and South Beach is tougher. I lived on the beach for three years, and often held two - three jobs just to get by. This included waiting tables at Nikki Beach (I quickly learned that I hate waiting tables and am terrible at it), retail management (it's easier to upsell when you are waiting on drunk people who just rolled off Ocean Drive) and hospitality of sorts.
Anyways, I thought I would share some of the things I have learned since I moved here:
- It's ok to buy your produce off the back of a truck. It's cheaper and better than the grocery
- Finding parking on South Beach is a nightmare. Finding parking on the Gables campus of UM on a Tuesday or Thursday is even worse
- Yes you will probably be towed
- No you don't have to pay the meters on Sunday in Coral Gables
- Everyone in Miami drives by the rules of the country from which they originate
- After a light turns red, AT LEAST 4 cars are allowed to turn left
- People in Miami may be rude, but people in Boca Raton are worse
- Learning Spanish is important, but every so often it's better to feign ignorance in a conversation
- The La Carreta on Bird Road can withstand anything, including fire
- If anything happens in Cuba, or a new "Fidel is dead" rumor catches, it will be on the front page of the Miami Herald and there will be crowds of people outside the aforementioned La Carreta and Versailles
- Homestead has the best produce AND the best Farmer's Market
- If you tell someone you don't speak Spanish, be prepared for a lecture
- Channel 7 will always lead with American Idol, no matter what else is happening around the world
- There are random chickens and peacocks all over the city
- Coffee is cheaper and better at Cuban bakeries
- If you talk about the lack of hills in Miami, there will always be that one person who references the hill at Tropical Park
- Santa's Enchanted Forest is a nightmare and an eyesore. It looks like the Christmas Faerie vomited her hangover all over Tropical Park
- Seeing Miami via boat is a whole different experience
- Fairchild is amazing, but so are the Pinecrest Gardens and not as many people know about them
- Vizcaya is super cool to boat up to. You can never really get the full appreciation for it until you see all angles.
- There are good people in Miami, but you probably won't meet them in South Beach clubs
- South Beach clubs are extremely overrated and after awhile you get tired of going places where a beer is $15 and you have to wear shoes that make you want to cut your feet off. When that happens, you will migrate to downtown and Brickell
- People in Coral Gables are surprisingly nice and shop owners welcome your business
- You will never get good service in South Beach. It's not even worth complaining about anymore.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Worst Valet Ever
So normally I don't valet my car. It's not just that I don't feel high roller enough, it's also that I used to work for a rental car company on the beach and I knew alot of valet guys. I saw it all - kids crashing $50k cars, stealing things out of cars, joyriding, etc. Normally I would rather shell out the money for a garage and keep my keys in my pocket. But yesterday El Hombre and I were up at Riverfront for my company holiday party, the company is reimbursing me for valet, and I don't know that area at all, so I figured, "What the hell? How bad can it be?"
Well, after waiting over an hour for the car yesterday, I found out. Ameripark Valet Services, as it turns out, is the worst valet company in the world. Nobody was running the booth, because apparently the company is too cheap to hire more than 3 guys to work a Saturday night during season and the same night as the boat parade. Smart. So there was nobody running the booth. This resulted in the following: People who showed up 30 minutes after me getting their cars before me, nobody knowing where my car keys were and an extremely angry crowd. Normally I am patient, but when I am the only person being nice to the valet guy, and he explodes at me that everyone else came first, I lost it. Magically my car appeared after I made an extremely angry call to the corporate center and then accused the guys of either crashing my car in the parking lot or taking it for a joyride.
So my advice? Avoid this parking company at all costs. They are poorly run, overpriced, poorly staffed and have worse customer service than any company, restaurant or store on South Beach. And that's saying a lot.
Well, after waiting over an hour for the car yesterday, I found out. Ameripark Valet Services, as it turns out, is the worst valet company in the world. Nobody was running the booth, because apparently the company is too cheap to hire more than 3 guys to work a Saturday night during season and the same night as the boat parade. Smart. So there was nobody running the booth. This resulted in the following: People who showed up 30 minutes after me getting their cars before me, nobody knowing where my car keys were and an extremely angry crowd. Normally I am patient, but when I am the only person being nice to the valet guy, and he explodes at me that everyone else came first, I lost it. Magically my car appeared after I made an extremely angry call to the corporate center and then accused the guys of either crashing my car in the parking lot or taking it for a joyride.
So my advice? Avoid this parking company at all costs. They are poorly run, overpriced, poorly staffed and have worse customer service than any company, restaurant or store on South Beach. And that's saying a lot.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Autumn Rambles
Just in case you were wondering, this is the both the best and worst time of the year to be in South Florida for me. Why the contradiction? Well, the weather is amazing, especially in the mornings. It's a crisp warmness, if that makes sense. Every day this past week, I have walked out the door to a 70 degree morning, light on humidity. It's a blessed reprieve from summer's blistering heat. We leave the windows open and the cats luxuriate in the breeze, lazy and calm and content to be outside. Hanging outside at night is amazing, and we can kick back with a cool glass of wine in our yard and be totally comfortable with the darkness creeping in, just a little earlier every day.
But (you knew it was coming) fall is really a cop-out down here. I'm a Carolina girl and fall is my favorite season. I miss the crisp cool days, with barely-warm afternoons. I miss the trees turning colors, the crunch of leaves underfoot and the smells of grills on a crisp evening. I love the beautiful fall colors, bright and warm on sweaters and wool, but there's no way I can justify wearing something that warm down here.
I was telling El Hombre that we have to get a pumpkin and carve it so we can toast the seeds. He seemed ok with the idea, but reminded me that the pumpkin will last no more than a few days. We grew up doing that, but it seems no one down here has had toasted pumpkin seeds. That's a fall necessity! Just like hot teas (which, admittedly, I drink year-round) and hearty soups and stews (something else that's year-round for me.)
So yeah, South Florida, I love you, but I wish you could pull together an awesome, authentic fall for me!
But (you knew it was coming) fall is really a cop-out down here. I'm a Carolina girl and fall is my favorite season. I miss the crisp cool days, with barely-warm afternoons. I miss the trees turning colors, the crunch of leaves underfoot and the smells of grills on a crisp evening. I love the beautiful fall colors, bright and warm on sweaters and wool, but there's no way I can justify wearing something that warm down here.
I was telling El Hombre that we have to get a pumpkin and carve it so we can toast the seeds. He seemed ok with the idea, but reminded me that the pumpkin will last no more than a few days. We grew up doing that, but it seems no one down here has had toasted pumpkin seeds. That's a fall necessity! Just like hot teas (which, admittedly, I drink year-round) and hearty soups and stews (something else that's year-round for me.)
So yeah, South Florida, I love you, but I wish you could pull together an awesome, authentic fall for me!
Monday, October 4, 2010
October is a good month for Zombies
It's been FOREVER since I've written and had good material to share with you on our bloggy blog, but this past weekend got me re-inspired to dedicate time to the blog. The second annual Zombie Walk was held on Lincoln Road Saturday night. It was fun, bloody, zombie-like, mass chaos (somewhat), and exciting. I'll post some photos and video from my zombie friends soon! The stains from the "blood" can still be found around Lincoln Road and in various parking garages. I also have a friend who made an awesome short film about it. I'll be sure to post a link to that too.
"Brains...."
- L
Sunday, September 19, 2010
It was a grove kind of morning...
So, this is my first post back from Spain. Word of advice - NEVER fly back into the country and then go to work the next day. Not a good feeling. But anyway. So yesterday we get up and it's just a relaxed kind of morning when El Hombre turns to me and says, "are you interested in checking out the grove farmer's market?" Of course I did! So off we went.
We have always seen the Coconut Grove Farmer's Market off the side of the Grand, but never stopped for some reason. This has been a mistake. The market is an open-air market on Grand Ave, open Saturdays from 11-7 p.m. and it's an all-organic farmers market. And it's wonderful. I unfortunately don't have pictures to share, because I haven't taken off my Spain pics from the camera, but suffice to say, this market has everything from spices to fruit pie. I was enthralled to find multiple types of squash (I really need to make a batch of butternut squash soup soon), alongside beautiful tomatoes, eggplant and greens. Wandering around the fruits, I found all the regulars, along with figs (which intrigue me because I have never attempted to make anything from them) and then dried fruits, including Goji Berries (interesting.)
Wandering away from the produce, we browsed among the venders, selling juices, plants, clothes, hot foods and more.
We ended up grabbing a fruit salad, which included papaya, mango, pineapple, blueberries, strawberries and kiwi and a strawberry lemonade for breakfast, and then each had organic vegan ice cream. El Hombre stuck with chocolate mousse, and I mixed my chocolate with pistachio.
Overall, it's a well-visited, well-established farmer's market with great selection and I highly recommend checking it out.
We have always seen the Coconut Grove Farmer's Market off the side of the Grand, but never stopped for some reason. This has been a mistake. The market is an open-air market on Grand Ave, open Saturdays from 11-7 p.m. and it's an all-organic farmers market. And it's wonderful. I unfortunately don't have pictures to share, because I haven't taken off my Spain pics from the camera, but suffice to say, this market has everything from spices to fruit pie. I was enthralled to find multiple types of squash (I really need to make a batch of butternut squash soup soon), alongside beautiful tomatoes, eggplant and greens. Wandering around the fruits, I found all the regulars, along with figs (which intrigue me because I have never attempted to make anything from them) and then dried fruits, including Goji Berries (interesting.)
Wandering away from the produce, we browsed among the venders, selling juices, plants, clothes, hot foods and more.
We ended up grabbing a fruit salad, which included papaya, mango, pineapple, blueberries, strawberries and kiwi and a strawberry lemonade for breakfast, and then each had organic vegan ice cream. El Hombre stuck with chocolate mousse, and I mixed my chocolate with pistachio.
Overall, it's a well-visited, well-established farmer's market with great selection and I highly recommend checking it out.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
L.A. Fitness - worst gym in the world
So, I don't know if any of you are aware of this, but LA Fitness is TRULY the worst place in the world. I've been working out here for a few months now, ONLY because my job pays for my membership and it's 2 minutes from my office, and of all the gyms I have ever been a member of, this one is the worst.
Why is this? Well, the service is horrendous. The gym is staffed with snooty people who are trying to force a sale down your throat, or total morons. Or sometimes both, which is the worst. Example, I had someone there mock the weights I was using. Apparently he didn't think that I would need light weights to rehab an injury. Another example, little kids were running around the locker rooms and playing on the gym equipment today. Nobody thought, "Wow, if that kid falls and hurts himself, or runs into someone with weights, we may have a liability case on our hands." Instead they ignore it because that would require working. And these are 5 year olds I'm talking about. According to the LA Fitness policy, kids under 14 have to stay in the kids club area. Great job guys.
Another reason why this gym is deplorable? The equipment is never cleaned, half the things are broken (including every clock, water fountains and the AC half the time.. which is amazing since the facility was built a year ago) and the weights are never re-racked. Things are left astrew. Is this their fault? Well, I never saw equipment so gross at the UM Wellness Center, Ironworks OR Golds. So yes.
So if you are shopping around, don't choose this gym. If any other gym opens up with the same rates around my office, I'm canceling this membership. Because yeah, LA Fitness, I hate you.
Why is this? Well, the service is horrendous. The gym is staffed with snooty people who are trying to force a sale down your throat, or total morons. Or sometimes both, which is the worst. Example, I had someone there mock the weights I was using. Apparently he didn't think that I would need light weights to rehab an injury. Another example, little kids were running around the locker rooms and playing on the gym equipment today. Nobody thought, "Wow, if that kid falls and hurts himself, or runs into someone with weights, we may have a liability case on our hands." Instead they ignore it because that would require working. And these are 5 year olds I'm talking about. According to the LA Fitness policy, kids under 14 have to stay in the kids club area. Great job guys.
Another reason why this gym is deplorable? The equipment is never cleaned, half the things are broken (including every clock, water fountains and the AC half the time.. which is amazing since the facility was built a year ago) and the weights are never re-racked. Things are left astrew. Is this their fault? Well, I never saw equipment so gross at the UM Wellness Center, Ironworks OR Golds. So yes.
So if you are shopping around, don't choose this gym. If any other gym opens up with the same rates around my office, I'm canceling this membership. Because yeah, LA Fitness, I hate you.
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