Santa's Enchanted Forest, part 2

A few months ago I went on a rant about how tacky Santa's Enchanted Forest is. Ironically, a few weeks ago, my roommate ended up with free tickets, and gave me two of them. Of course I took advantage because of this sick fascination I have with the underworld of tacky.
I have to say though, the amount of lights those people put up is ungodly. It really is.


No joke, as we were entering, the first thought that passed through my head was, "I'm glad I'm not prone to seizures." The second thought? "This is fantastically hilarious, I can't wait to write about this!"

Upon entering, you find Santa and his elves in a myriad of situations, from skiing to sneaking into the house to deliver presents.

This one was clearly King Santa.


And clearly Santa is inclusive of all. Even aliens.

But don't you worry! If you felt there weren't enough lights, here's some more:


Santa's is really just a giant fair. Complete with the animals:

Monkey!!!!!!!!!! My favorite

Poor things, they were among the most ridiculous amount of lights in the front of the fair.

And what's a fair without an elephant? There were also sea lions but we missed the show.

And did I forget to mention the fair food? In Miami, arepas and elephant ears are staple fair foods, as is corn-on-the-cob and pork-on-a-stick. But this truly takes the cake:


The candy apples just looked pretty.

You can also find different types of decapitated snowmen. Because nothing says "Christmas" like a headless body... right?


Note that it appears the snowman in the back is delighted by the head of the snowman in the front. Perhaps it was the perpetrator of the crime...

And you know, if you would like to buy some bling, or something to represent where you hail from, no worries!


There is also a giant red Christmas tree, just in case you forgot what the point of the fair is...


And rides!

Santa's Enchanted Forest

It's only fitting that I post this rant, considering its "cold" today in Miami (it was about 60 once the sun went down.)

One of my first memories of how bizarre Miami can be came about 4 years ago, in late November or so. I had been living on South Beach, which we all know is a bubble, separate from the rest of the city, and two of my coworkers and I were driving to Dadeland for a work meeting. We were on 826 when we passed the most hideously, gloriously tacky monstrosity on the Palmetto.

That tacky place is none other than Santa's Enchanted Forest. It is a nightmare of lights, rides and other fair-related events. I have never been but have always found it hilarious that Miami has a Christmas-themed fair for two months.

Well it's not funny anymore, and I will tell you why. The forest happens to be across from the Publix and Target that I most often frequent, and traffic in that particular spot happens to be a pain anyway. With the Forest opening on November 6, I am going to have to find a new grocery and Target (this will probably save me money.)

The worst part is that Santa's Enchanted Forest is actually pretty expensive to get into, considering it's a tacky fair on the outskirts of Tropical Park. So I doubt I will waste my time taking pictures and making fun of it later.... Especially considering I would have to sit in traffic for an hour to get there.